It's happened so fast- I haven't even had to to think since it began- I am in Seussical.
So perhaps I should start with from the beginning. Yes, that seems prudent. Well, it all began in a hazy misadventurous conception of potentially trying out for the spring musical, Seussical. Tuesday, the first day of auditions fell on top of me like a ton of bricks in much a similar fashion that the one ton anvil from ACME Inc fell on Wiley Coyote. I found myself, suddenly, thrust into an audition process where anxiety ran through me like the cable cars in San Fransisco, dictating my actions and movements.
The first audition (as it is a two day audition, providing to chances to humiliate yourself thoroughly) went as well as it could have as I sang (I think I sang better then than I have even in my life). Then the directors turned to me and asked me which monologue I had prepared.
S.O.B.- I had to have a monologue?! the thoughts raced through my mind. I quickly explained to them that I wasn't aware that those seeking no major role, so a chorus role, would have to have a monologue ready since they wouldn't have any lines anyway.
No bother! they exclaimed. One of them suggested I try the Pledge of Allegiance in "character."
Oh shit. So I tried. And I should be deported for my performance, seeing as I COMPLETELY BOTCHED THE SINGLE PLEDGE I'VE MADE NEARLY EVERYDAY FOR MY PUBLIC SCHOOL CAREER. I panicked, bid them a good-day, and rushed out of the room and left promptly, certain that they had been stifling laughs while my back turned the corner out of the room.
The second day, if at all possible, was more disastrous than the first. We were taught a dance in two hours (the boys and the girls each taught a slightly different dance). Then, three at a time, we were sent up to the gallows/stage where they would judge us. To make things worse, they asked that we do the same dance twice. I failed. Utterly. No single performance has ever made me so ashamed of my self as did that little dance.
However, half a rotation of the Earth later, I discovered that I had been "called-back". This perplexed me, not only because I had honestly done so horribly that I wanted to melt into the backdrop of the stage, but because I had already told them that I had no aspirations of having a principle role with any lines. However, there was my name, clear as charcoal on a clean slate of glass, written up on the wall, for the part of "Mr. Mayor". Given two hours, I frantically memorized the part, tried to find a suitable yet manageable character voice, and then learn, 30 minutes to go, that I also had to learn a new song. Shit. So I did, frantically. I went second because the girl that wanted to go first decided that I should be her husband for the scene. Great. I began strong, in a great character voice, and then something miraculous happened- I, Jonathan, who has memorized 250 digits of pi, can recite numerous telephone numbers of his friends', and creates mnemonic devices which have helped an entire class to pass an exam, began to forget my lines. My neurons were acting out the cubical-ed office anarchy sketch portrayed in countless movies, where the tallest structures were upturned chairs and important papers were being shredded. Of course, in this case, one of those important papers being shredded was the monologue I was supposed to have memorized. Fortunately, my "wife" for the scene helped me along in a very golden-anniversary type moment, finishing my sentences for me, helping me to pick back up the lost steam (as it was a very mad monologue) and continue to chew out our nonexistent child. Again, despite having a mulligan, my singing went far better than my acting.
So, despite more than 24 hours elapsing, the Cast List has not been posted online, as it had be promised. However, a few hours ago, a friend called me to congratulate me on getting the part for Mr. Mayor. Needless to say, I was stunned, but I recovered quickly, finding out that, indeed, I had been selected for the part I was called-back for, and that it would have a quite a few lines.
So, in the span of three days, I have effectively lost all chance of maintaining a social life in January (since rehearsals are nearly everyday), but have probably gained a dozen and a half new friends, and inherited a whole bunch of anxiety. But hey- it's all worth it. =]
- Jonathan
