Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Carnival Mirrors

When I look at the mirror, I look at myself and sigh.
When I glance at my foolish choices, and then I wonder why.
Ubiquitous my presence I knowingly sense.
However its pristine unchallenged truth is just a pretense.
Reflections of myself are warped and twisted with lies.
Not even finding requisite pools of honestly oft' hidden in the eyes.
My work and hobbies fail to represent what the mirror lacks.
And my self image is based on inflated imaginations rather than the facts.
Careful patterns hide the truth behind the mask.
But iron wrought lies answer those who ask.
Where can I see myself clearly, in this deep and dark world?
Where else but the banks of the shore, with our fingers interlocked and minds intertwirled?

- Jonathan

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I AM Feeling Myself These Days

I am such a mess that it's almost funny.

I wish I could say that I'm not feeling myself or that I'm having an off day, but it's becoming clearer everyday that I am exactly myself and that any good day that I experience is directly due to me not being myself. There isn't a single part of me that really is saying "Oh, I could improve on that to make myself happier." I am just apparently contented with a very messed up way of life.

I'm so fucked up. GAH.

- Jonathan